The pith of history
A bunch of drunken Normans came on a day trip from Boulogne,
They bought their duty free fags and a couple of bottles of woine
They had an English beer or two which filled them with such zest
They thought they'd buy red noses for this was a Norman conk quest
(Ch) Run this by me once more, the pith of history
There were no noses to be bought for they had not been invented
And with their bellies full of beer the French were discontented
So Bill the boss told all his lads to go out on the spree
Kick some plate glass windows in and bash up OAPs
(Ch)
King Harold was at Stamford Bridge though West Ham were at home
When first editions carried news of vandalism done
But he was north and they were south so he didn't go like he oughter
He thought it was excessive prose by tabloid press reporters
(Ch)
By the time he got down to the coast a battle was in full swing
There was bits of bodies flying about and lumps of dirt and things
And one of his blokes says 'what'll we do we can't just let things lie?'
'Hang about' says Harold 'I've got something in my eye'
(Ch)
A Essência da História
Um bando de normandos bêbados veio em um passeio de Boulogne,
Compraram seus cigarros de free shop e algumas garrafas de vinho.
Tomaram uma ou duas cervejas inglesas que os deixaram animados,
Pensaram em comprar narizes vermelhos, pois era uma busca de narizes normandos.
(Ch) Me explica isso de novo, a essência da história.
Não havia narizes para comprar, pois ainda não tinham sido inventados,
E com as barrigas cheias de cerveja, os franceses estavam descontentes.
Então Bill, o chefe, disse para a rapaziada sair pra farra,
Quebrar algumas vitrines e dar uma surra em velhinhos na rua.
(Ch)
O Rei Harold estava em Stamford Bridge, enquanto o West Ham jogava em casa,
Quando as primeiras edições trouxeram notícias de vandalismo.
Mas ele estava ao norte e eles ao sul, então não foi como deveria,
Achou que era prosa excessiva de repórteres de tabloides.
(Ch)
Quando ele chegou na costa, a batalha já estava a todo vapor,
Pedaços de corpos voando e sujeira por todo lado.
E um dos caras dele diz: 'O que vamos fazer? Não podemos deixar assim!'
'Espera aí,' diz Harold, 'tem algo no meu olho.'
(Ch)