i wish i wanted you

i wish i wanted you

I see your name light up my phone
And my heart still skips, but I feel unknown
We’ve been through fire, we’ve been through rain
And somehow we’re still here in the same pain
Every memory feels so near
But I'm afraid of what I’d hear
If I opened the door again
Would I lose myself like then?

I thought time would wash you away (away)
But you’re the tide that still pulls at my veins (veins)
And I'm caught between what’s right and what’s true
‘Cause I still think of you

I wish I wanted you
Without the weight, without the wounds
I wish I wanted you
Like the first night under the Moon
But all the hurt still lingers deep
And my heart’s too tired to leap
I wish I wanted you
The way I used to

Your voice is soft, like it used to be
And it whispers promises to me
But I can’t forget the nights we broke
On words we should’ve never spoke
We could pretend it’s not too late
Rewrite the past, change our fate
But every scar reminds me why
We said goodbye

I thought time would wash you away (away, hum)
But you’re the tide that still pulls at my veins (veins, hum)
And I'm caught between what’s right and what’s true
‘Cause I still dream of you

I wish I wanted you
Without the weight, without the wounds
I wish I wanted you
Like the first night under the Moon
But all the hurt still lingers deep
And my heart’s too tired to leap
I wish I wanted you
The way I used to

If love was enough to fix the past
We’d still be here, we’d make it last
But I can’t lie, not to you, not to me
Sometimes letting go is the only way to be free

I wish I wanted you (wanted you)
Without the pain, without the truth (the truth)
I wish I wanted you
But I’ve learned what love can’t undo
And though my heart still beats your name
I know we can’t be the same
I wish I wanted you
But I don’t anymore
I wish I wanted you
The way I used to