feel anything

Don't crash before I calculate
A step before the fall
Don't speak what I should say
Don't stay when I'm called
Exit when it feels like fate
Make distance look polite
Then I swear it wasn't planned
I'll lock myself in tonight

I don't need another mirror
I know the face I use

I don't feel anything at all
I don't see anything at all
When I pulled the pin
I did it out of fear

I say: Give me a minute
When I mean give me a wall
I wait for the right moment
Then I miss the call
I expect people to stay
Without letting them in
Then I wonder why it hurts
When it ends like this

I don't need another mirror
I know the face I use

I don't feel anything at all
I don't see anything at all
When I pulled the pin
I did it out of fear
I don't feel anything at all
I don't see anything at all
If you saw what I've seen
I'm sure you'd do it with a tear

I know
I know
I know what I do

I don't need saving
I needed time
I needed space
I weaponized
I learned restraint
Too well, too young
Now nothing stays
When it's begun

I don't feel anything at all
I don't see anything at all
When I pulled the pin
I did it out of fear
I don't feel anything at all
I don't see anything at all
If you saw what I've seen
I'm sure you'd do it with a tear