I Wanna Be a Stormtrooper

I gotta get off this planet

Tatooine is such a hellhole
Why the hell do I even bother?

I ain't got no future here
I probably spend the rest of my life here
Fixing moisture evaporators for the townspeople
Or repairing droids for pocket change
Fending off the sand-people
Poor sand-people
Look what they've been reduced to
I bet with a little education and a home world
They could make something out their lives
But nothing will ever get better
Here in grimy cut hole of space

I should join The Empire
I know there evil an all
But they're a good kinda evil
The uniforms are way cool
And they get to travel and most of us don't
And chicks dig Stormtroopers
Big time
Their like
Intergalactic rock stars
Stormtroopers get laid men, but not me
If I want a little love, I got to hitch a ride to Mos Eisley
50 cents for a wookie prostitute
50 seconds pleasure
And 50 years of regret
Wookie love is pointless
My life is pointless
I gotta get ya of this planet