What Does it Mean to be Special?

I wish I no longer felt like an empty shell
If only I could know what it feels like to be loved

If I could find an answer to the reason for your
Abandonment
I'd have a way not to feel so miserable

I wish to find a reason to live, but there are no reasons to try and stay

I wish to find a way to get back up
But I'm so weak and I can't change that

Will I ever be enough?
Will I ever be free from this melancholy?

I just want to rest
And die knowing what it's like to be special

Every tear I shed is the answer to the loneliness you condemned me to
Tears that fall down my face, leaving me with no strength to move forward
Hatred spreads through my chest, filling every empty corner
And in that emptiness, only the shadow of what once existed remains