Bad Dreams Rehearsal

Colin: Why don't you, er, just, er... sing the words that you had for that, Dennis? I thought
they were frightfully good.

Den: Okay. (Starts to play guitar.) It's quite difficult to sing and play.

Colin: It's a love song, is it? It's very moving.

(Den continues to play.)

Vim: Are those the words then?

Den: No, I'm just getting into it! I'll have to start again now. (Stops playing.)

Colin: Shhhhh! Quiet!

(Den starts playing again.)

Spider: That's the old number we used to do...

Colin: Quiet! Be QUIET!

Vim: It's very Status Quo, isn't it?

Den: (sings) Bad dreams are keeping me awake at night.
Bad dreams, I think I'm gonna turn on the light.
Bad dreams, wish that they'd go away.
Bad dreams, here comes the beast again!

Colin: That's nice.

Vim: What?

Den: Nightmare, ....ing to me all night long.
Nightmare, duh duh duh duh duh strong.

Colin: Some words there, obviously.

Den: Nightmare, duh duh duh... I'll start again.

Colin: What do you think, Vim?

Den: Bad dreams are keeping me awake at night...

Colin: (joining in) Bad dreams are keeping me... turn on the light.

Den: Bad dreams, how long are they gonna go on?

Colin: I don't know...

Den: Nightmare! Look out, here comes the beast again!

Colin: Oooooooohhh! Ouch, bite, bite!

(Den stops playing.)

Vim: And you all like that song, do you?

Colin: Well, we thought it had...

Den: I'll play it again, shall I?

Vim: No, don't...

Den: (Starts playing) Bad dreams...

Vim: No, Den, don't play it again, or I'll break your guitar.

(Den stops playing.)

Colin: Careful, Alan.

Vim: Alright. I think the only bit that's worth salvaging is the bit where you're not playing
the guitar, and you say "Here comes the beast again."

Den: Oh, right, just (sings) "Bad dreams..."

Vim: No! None of that! All that's rubbish. Just "Here comes the beast again" is actually
quite good.

Den: (sings) Here comes the beast again!

Vim: Yeah.

Colin: Yeah, did you notice there was...

Vim: There was the nub of a song in there.

Den: Nightmare! Here comes the beast again!

Vim: No... yeah, that's quite good. If I sang it, that would be quite good.

Den: And you could have, like, screaming on it.

Vin: (sings) Nightmare! Here comes the beast again!

Den: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Like that.

Vim: Have you hurt yourself, Den?

Den: No.

Vim: Oh.

Colin: There was a bit where I did a bit of a scream, a sort of "Uuuuurgh!" thing. Did you
notice that?

Vim: No.

Colin: Well, it was... I thought it was...

Vim: Do you want to give it to me one more time?

Colin: Yes, it comes just after the beast bit, actually...

(Den starts to play again.)

Vim: No! Don't play the fucking music one more time.

Den: (stops playing) I thought you said give it to you one more time?

Vim: No, just his scream.

Den: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Vim: No, not your scream! Colin's scream!

Colin: No, my come scream... my scream comes after him.

Vim: Oh, alright.

Den: So we'll do mine first.

Colin: Right. Well, why don't you go from...

Den: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Colin: Den, why don't you go from the verse before that?

Den: Oh no, I was doing it so that you could...

Colin: No, no, but go from the verse before that, then I'll know where I am and what feeling I
have.

(Den starts to play.)

Colin: Nightmare, look out, put on the light again, all that... Yeah, la di la... Sing the
words, sing the words!

Den: (stops playing) Nightmare!

Colin: That's it.

Den: Here comes the beast again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Spider: Do you know, I think we might have a... we might get a song together...

Vim: Hang on, hang on...

Den: Oh Spider, that was where his scream was gonna come!

Colin: No, I was actually going to do the scream then, but Spider came in too early.

Vim: Just do it from "Nightmare"...

Den: Nightmare!

Colin: No, well...

Den: Here comes the beast again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Colin: I was wanting to go from the verse before that.

Vim: No, you're supposed to scream then, aren't you?

Den: Oh no!

Colin: Yes, but could we go from the verse before? I have to know what kind of feeling I'm in.
Could we just go from the verse... I'm awfully sorry. It won't take much time.

Vim: Alright.

(Den starts again.)

Colin: Nightmare, I'm going to turn on the light again
Nightmare, I'm going to turn...

Den: (stops playing) Here comes the beast again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Colin: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh! That's the one I was talking about. What do you think?

Vim: What, that's where you're going to do the scream?

Colin: No, that WAS the scream. And I thought it sounded rather frightening.

Vim: Well... just give it to us solo.

Colin: Well...

Vim: On the count of four.

Colin: No, I don't think I...

Vim: One, two, three, four.

Colin: Alan... I don't think I can just go into it like that. I need the verse... could you
start from the verse before the scream again?

(Den starts again.)

Colin: Nightmare, I'm going to turn on the light again.
Nightmare, here comes the nightmare again... Scream!
I'm going to turn on the light again, nightmare...

Den: (stops playing) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Colin: And this... there's this...

Spider: (singing quietly) Nightmare... gonna turn on the light again... nightmare, gonna turn it
on again... ye-eah...

Colin: This is awfully funny, but...

Spider: AAAAAARGH!

Colin: Spider, could you... sit up a bit?

Spider: Nightmare, gonna turn it on again... turn on the light again...

Den: Somebody put Spider on his chair.

Colin: Could somebody tap him or something? Er, I'm... Spider, hello!

Spider: Hello!

Colin: Are you alright?

Spider: What?

Colin: Your eyes are sort of... looking in opposite...

(Barely stifled laughter.)

Spider: Nightmare, nightmare... turn the light on again...

Den: Oh no.

Spider: It's good that, innit? I think I'm just getting it. Do you want me to sing this one,
Den?

Den: Okay. (Starts playing.)

Spider: (sings completely out of time) Nightmare, I think I'm going, er, turn, er, turn on the
light again... and I'm gonna, erm, going out, turn on the light again, you know... make
a cup of tea.

Den: (stops playing) Nightmare! Here comes the beast again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Colin: Uuuuuuuuurgh! There! I did it again. What do you think?

Vim: I think it's a bloody horrible smell.