We're boozing through this campaign
The gold has filled our bags
The underdark left not a mark
On any of the lads

The boys are feeling generous
Let's find ourselves a stray
A wild wee companion
That is worthy of our name

More substantial than a raven
An owl, or a hawk
We came across a creature
And we woke him with a rock

But the troll is not a familiar
Look at the size of him, are you mad?
Don't try to pet him, lad, he might kill ya
When did the druid get in his hand?
Don't give him a name, he doesn't speak common
He only knows how to tear you to shreds
'Cause a troll is not a familiar
So it's on to the next before we end up dead

Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley

Well, that could have gone better
It took us by surprise
The druid's still recovering
The bard is traumatized

Let's pour ourselves a pick me up
What's that there in the webs?
We drank the round, then charged right in
And tamed it in its nest

Now ain't this thing a beauty
I think she'll fit right in
Let's make this creature feel at home
It got out
Oh fuck!

A giant spider's not a familiar
Too many eyes and too many legs
Don't try to pet the thing, it might kill ya
Somebody slay it before it lays eggs
Now it's trying to eat the ranger
And the camp is covered in webs
'Cause a spider's not a familiar
So it's on to the next before we end up dead

Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley

Who suggested and arachnid?
What the hell was in his drink?
Let's give this one more go
Before we're far too drunk to think

We spotted something glimmering
It's heating up the air
We found ourselves a mighty wyrm
From deep within a lair

The bard walks right towards the beast
And whispers in his ear
It wakes and murmurs something back
Yeah, he's in
What?
Yeah, he just want the goldH, he's coming with us
Oh sick

Turns out a dragon is a familiar
Who would've thought he's one of the lads
Just don't take his gold, he's actually chill, yeah
Long as he's fed, he's totally grand
Now we're OP as a party could be
The main storyline be damned
'Cause we have a dragon as a familiar
So it's straight to the final boss, we have a new plan

Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley
Ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley-ley