Pity Party

My pleasure swirl has completely stopped working
It's tired and older
And I can finally sense that it needs a break
A significant hard-hitter

The past just loaded its gun
It's goddamn overwhelming
To get a taste of it all at once
Take time to breathe now

I won't talk unless you want me to
I'm throwing a pity party at my house
Take time to grieve now
I won't talk unless you need me to

But I gotta fix these social scripts somehow
Mining the bottom of the pit for answers
Mining the bottom of the pit for moral redemption
You got hay in a needle stack

You got hay in a needle stack
Take time to breathe now
I won't talk unless you want me to
I'm throwing a pity party at my house

Take time to grieve now
I won't talk unless you need me to
But I gotta try to find myself
In these conversations somehow

I tried
I tried to pick out the shitty things I said from my teeth
But I lied
I lied

And the cavity is years deep down
I got stuck
I got stuck on the crux
Of something else

I got stuck
I got stuck on the hauntings
Of self-repressed guilt