Seeing Negative (Disappointment)

Well, I'm so fed up with what I'm doing here
Nothing is ever interesting
I'm giving up and I said as much
It probably comes in clutch
That my mouth don't shut

I don't get it, I never do
How opposites can both be true
How I'm put together but so unglued
I know what I want but I don't have a clue

I'm trying to understand
'Cause I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect?
'Cause I'm not getting what I need

Too cautious to let someone in
A fear I won't take my hands off the steering wheel
Drained and confused
So much to choose
Everything to lose
Has my ego bruised?
Can't forget it, I never will
Care to live with overkill
Exhausted but I can't sit still
Making me anxious but I'm high on the thrill

I'm trying to understand
'Cause I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect?
'Cause I'm not getting what I need
I'm desperate
Swing and a miss
I've had enough disappointment
It might be my lens
Because the negative is all I see

I'm so driven but I can't drive
I'm done stuck sitting in the passenger side
Oh, where did the time go?
Fast paced but so slow
I've been needing a change of pace
If I keep begging then I might get a taste
Planned and accidental
Wasted potential

I'm trying to understand
I give one hundred percent
Why is there a disconnect?
'Cause I'm not getting what I need
I'm desperate
Swing and a miss
I've had enough disappointment
It might be my lens
Because the negative is all I see
The negative is all I see, yeah, yeah-ay
I'm only disappointing me