Stellafly

She landed like a fly
She left like a fly

The apartment across the hall had been vacant for six
Months
Then suddenly without warning became occupied
She was from the east of canada
Absolutely beautiful, brains too
And I told myself at first sight, she's trouble
And she was
More than I could possibly imagine
A real fireball-motormouth type
But I really liked that at first
(I like talkative people)

The third night she was there
We walked down to the new Beverly cinema
(Which was actually an old revival house)
For a showing of street car named desire
And from then on we began calling each other
Stella and Stanley

Whenever I'd come back from a job or something
I'd yell up to her window
Stella
But more frequently than not
It'd be her that was coming home from job and yelling
Stanley
She was working her little round ass off
Making about ten grand a week
As a human prop for fashion catalougues
Didn't even have a bank account
When she first moved
In
What do you do with the money?, I asked her
Well I bought some CDs yesterday
And I got some clothes and I got this bag

The girl spent money like an Arab
And even with her income
Was always borrowing from me for food and rent

One of her biggest expenses was taxi fares
She didn't own a car
Refused to take the bus
And back in those days la didn't have a subway

Up to five-hundred dollars a day for taxis
To and from jobs
To and from stores
To and from the movies
To and from the beach
The beach?!
Who the fuck takes a cab from Hollywood to the beach?
Rent a car! I told her
But she didn't have a license

She eventually took all of my advice
Opened a bank account
Stopped buying so many CDs
Started buying used clothes
And bought two cars
(Still didn't have a license)
A big Ford Bronco which she almost never drove
And an old convertible mustang

Stanley
She'd yell as she drove down the alley
Stanley
She'd yell as she pulled into the driveway
Then we'd make healthy, disgusting-tasting things to
Eat
Drink cheap wine and talk almost all night
On my big blue bed

But always in the middle of some deep conversation
She spring to her feet and say sisterly
Goodnight Stan
Goodnight Stella, I'd say
Out my door she went
And into her own across the hall
Where she would start making phone calls

Sometimes I'd hear her talk on the phone
For two or three hours back home to Canada
To her gingerbread family
To her old friends and to her old boyfriend
You see, I was her only friend in la
And the phone was one form of communication
She could not live without out
(Her phone bill was easily four times more than her
Rent)

But I loved this little girl
Miss-nineteen-year-old-motor-mouth-know-it-all
She loved me too
But was afraid to admit it
For the simple reason I didn't look good on paper
No regular job
Skin too dark

Used too many fuck-words
Unsuccessful as a photographer
Unsuccessful as an artist
Whatever would her gingerbread family back home think?
And her friends? And her old boyfriend?
Afterall, this whole charade of a life she lived
Was strictly for them, just for effect

Many weeks in advance, we'd planned to go skydiving
Together
But on the day we had reserved at the skydiving school
We got up at four-thirty AM
And drove all the way out to Paris, California
Just to discover the wind was too strong
For any planes to go up
She was absolutely heartbroken
Didn't say a word the whole drive back
What's wrong, Stella?
I dunno

The problem wasn't
That her her long anticipated first jump
Had been postponed
It was that she'd already told everyone in Toronto
That she'd be jumping today
And no doubt they'd be calling that night for a
Documentary

What'll I tell them? She said
That you're dead, I said
That's not funny Stan!!

One night not long after
We'd gone to a big Hollywood Christmas party
And gotten completely wasted on mixed tropical drinks
We took a cab home
Then talked for a while on my bed
She put her arms around me
Stabbed her tongue into my mouth
And climbed up on top of me
She pulled out my dick through the zipper
Slipped it under her mini-skirt
Around her panties
Into her unbelievably hot and tight wetness

She rode it
Once up
Once down
The must have remembered her loving family
Friends and old boyfriend back home in Toronto
I can't do this
She said rolling off of me
Standing up and pulling down her skirt simultaneously
I can't do this!!!

She stormed out of my door and into her own
She called somebody in Canada
And began telling them how exciting the party had been
Eddie murphy was there, I overheard her say
He wasn't, but there was a black guy tending bar
(Maybe they all looked the same to her)

The best and worst fuck of my life
The best
Because I loved that little bitch and had waited
Five months for the dip
The worst
Because of its four-second duration
And transformation
Of a girl who talked, laughed and ate with me
And cared about me
Into one who only said
Hi Stan
Bye Stan

The next weekend I went up to Ventura County
When I got home Sunday night she was gone
No note. Nothing
Her apartment was unlocked
Vacant. No furniture. Nothing
Everything was gone except for the cars
Which she'd left across the street
In the post office parking lot

The bronco was stolen the third night
The mustang was towed by the city
About a week after that

In like a fly
Out like a fly

She'd mixed up my head
She'd driven a fork right through my fucking heart
She'd nibbled and chewed
All of the self-confidence from my bones
And still... Still had the nerve to call
Four months later from Paris, France

It's spring here, she said on my answering machine
The Sun is shining
The flowers have blossomed

I miss you Stan