Slip of A Girl

MRS. FAIRFAX
I cannot believe it!

ADELE
What is it, Madame?

MRS. FAIRFAX
He means to marry her...a governess!
A slip of a girl
No breeding, no brass
No kinship, no class
A slip of a girl Who misplaces her grace
And disgraces her place
A slip of a girl
Who should settle for less
And confess a success
I'm outraged and appalled
Distressed and offended
Scandalized, mortified
Shocked and upended

ADELE
Is it true, mam'selle?

JANE
Yes, it is!

MRS. FAIRFAX
You're a slip of a girl
It is unlikely, I fear
He's in love with you, dear

JANE
Mrs. Fairfax!

MRS. FAIRFAX
A slip of a girl!
Would you marry him when
You've no knowledge of men?
A slip of girl
I would beg you to purge
Your unvirginal urge
I'm fretted and anxious
Concerned and disturbed
Upset, apprehensive
Harassed and perturbed!
Oh, Jane, you must be careful...
I remember in my youth
I thought the same as you,
But men, my dear, will break your heart
While swearing to be true.

ROBERT
From Mr. Rochester, Miss.

JANE
Thank you, Robert...

MRS. FAIRFAX
But these are the Rochester jewels!

JANE
Oh, yes...

MRS. FAIRFAX
To be worn by a governess?
I'm astonished, alarmed
Perplexed and dumbfounded
Bewildered, embarrassed
Amazed and astounded

JANE
I don't know why he sent them. I told him I would not wear them.

MRS. FAIRFAX
Not wear them?
And who are you to say you will not wear jewels given
to you by Mr. Edward Fairfax Rochester?
A slip of a girl
Whose form, I'll be sworn
He should scorn to adorn

JANE
No, indeed, Mrs. Fairfax...

MRS. FAIRFAX
A slip of a girl
Who'd be blessed, at the best
To be fetchingly dressed!

JANE
I shall not wear them!

MRS. FAIRFAX
A slip of a girl
Who'll do as she's told
Or be wholly cajoled,
Laughable, impudent
Brazen, audacious
Saucy, impertinent
Bold and ungracious

ADELE
Ooh, voila!

ROBERT
From the tailor at Milcote, Miss.

JANE
Oh, yes, thank you.

MRS. FAIRFAX
So this is the dress?

JANE
Do you like it?

MRS. FAIRFAX
Like it? Well, I...
I remember, long ago
When I wore such a dress...
He died, poor man, and broke my heart
Still broken, I confess

JANE
I'm very sorry to hear that, Mrs. Fairfax...

MRS. FAIRFAX
A slip of a girl
Insipidly built
Ill-equipped, to the hilt

JANE
Mrs. Fairfax...

MRS. FAIRFAX
You're a slip of a girl
And I'll bet he'll not let
You be more than a pet
He's twenty years older
Aesthetics won't let it
Be more than a friendship
You'd better forget it

JANE
No, indeed, Mrs. Fairfax. Edward is young...

MRS. FAIRFAX
Edward?

JANE
He's young in his heart.

MRS. FAIRFAX
Really?

JANE
He loves me, I'm sure.

MRS. FAIRFAX
Oh, dear, I don't know...

JANE
I solemnly swear...

MRS. FAIRFAX
Love is a great thing...

JANE
Our love will endure

MRS. FAIRFAX
Well, then...
I'm thrilled, I'm enchanted
Enraptured, excited
Gratified, tickled...
I trust I'm invited?
I'm charmed, I'm disarmed!
Jane Eyre, I'm delighted!