On and Off

Staring at the mirror till my face distorts
Notice all my flaws and every faded mark
Can't remember what I used to see before
Leaving conversations like an open door

One day I feel better than I usually do
Something's kinda different and I can improve
But then the next day I feel lower than I was
I hate this constant battle I just wanna be done

I'm so on and off like a toxic relationship
I try to move on but I feel like I'm needing it

Ditching parties early is my favorite part
Instead of going in I'll just sit in my car
Loving where I am until I hate it
It's been way too long and now I'm jaded

I'm so on and off like a toxic relationship
I try to move on but I feel like I'm needing it
I'm too soft I'm never quite healing
Just on and off and on and off

Maybe if I leave here I'll feel better
My mood won't be dependent on the weather
I won't have to try to be so clever
Writting all my problems in a letter

Only writting songs about things I can't relate to
Talking about love but I never even date
You say I'm not that bad and you always tolerate me
But what if you're just lying and secretly hate me?

I'm so on and off like a toxic relationship
I try to move on but I feel like I'm needing it
I'm too soft I'm never quite healing
Just on and off and on and off
And on and off and on and off