Everything I Wanted

Left myself on the island
Didn’t even try to fight it
Now I wake up blue
Pull out my hair and pick on you
Handle me with care
Left my mind in a dark place
I can’t correct my mistakes

Now I wake up red
Never speak the words
Telling me in my head that I deserved it

I can’t ignore all of the signs
I’ve had this feeling before
And I can’t take back all of the times
I’ve taken the blame when it wasn’t mine, no it wasn’t mine
Need something else, need something else
‘Cause what I'm breathing in is toxic
I tell myself, I tell myself
That it’s everything that I wanted
Everything I wanted
Everything I wanted

Lost myself in the city
Trying to make myself busy
Saw through myself right into the crowd
’Cause I needed help
Should’ve asked around

I can’t ignore all of the signs
I’ve had this feeling before
And I can’t take back all of the times
I’ve taken the blame when it wasn’t mine, no it wasn’t mine
Need something else, need something else
‘Cause what I'm breathing in is toxic
I tell myself, I tell myself
That it’s everything that I wanted
Everything I wanted
Everything I wanted

I tell myself
I tell myself
I tell myself
I tell myself
I tell myself
I tell myself
That it’s everything that I wanted