Good Day, Good Sir

{people cheering}
{classical music plays}
Ah such sweet sound
The fiddler on the fucking roof

Is that Mr. Bently Fonsworth?

Indeed it is, sir.

Good day, good sir. How do you do? Look fine!

Fantasically well, I am certainly not Fine by far,
but you could say I'm close to Spectacular.

Close to Spectacular? How so?

Open your eyes! Spectacular's right in front of you!

Whatever you say. You're Spectacular.

No, I'm Fantasically Well.

Come on, man, make up your mind.
A minute ago you said you were Fine.

No, I said I'm close to Spectacular but I'm meeting Fine in a
minute.

Close to Spectacular? You said you were Fantasically Well!

Exactly!

Exactly? Which one are you? Close to spectacular or Fantasically
Well?

I am certainly and without a doubt Fantasically Well,
and was close to Spectacular, but I must say, Good Sir, you just

pissed Spectacular off and don't even mention exactly. But here
comes
Fine right now...

{sound of heels clicking on floor}

Oh Lord, she IS Fine...

Gentlemen?

{same time} Behold, a lady.