ADULT GIRL

I can let go of the flower
Now my power has returned
I can look back at the past
Now I see what I have learned

Try my best to act my age
But the child won't behave
She wants to scream and cry and rage
And who am I to dig her grave?

The teenage years I never lived
The innocence of high school kids
Young romance and endless nights
Of carefree joy and pure delight
Didn't grow up in a normal world
And now I'm just an adult girl

Now I'm too old to die young
But at least I had some fun
Spent my twenties on the run
Dreamin' of suicide and love
Think I'm stuck somewhere between
Childhood and va-va-voom
Always cycling in-between
Existential dread and doom

Messy numb razors and knives
Missed arteries and blacked-out nights
Kittens, mittens, plushy toys
Bows and hearts and sullen boys
Robbed me of a teenage world
Now I'm just an adult girl
An adult girl

Someone, tell me how to heal
The terror livin' inside me
I don't even know what's real
I just know I wanna be free

All the things I lost and loved
Swept them underneath the rug
Like the child, I wait and hope
You might repair the things you broke

Now I understand the world of adult boys
'Cause I'm an adult girl
I'm an oyster without a pearl
But that's just how it is for an adult girl
An adult girl
Adult girl