A Senhora dos Gatos Tristes

Mrs. Mary Winston Jones could not have any children

When her hubby's seed swam in, the Lord above just killed 'em (awww!)

Sad though it was, there's a silver lining

They bought two little kitties at the pound

The tabbies started humpin' and it led to quite a somethin'

Now a blissful family unit is found there

The house is all a-bustle with feline fur and muscle

And the Jones's hearts have truly learned to sing

The only problem now is their just not knowing how

To keep those kitty titties in a sling

Slipping on some poop in the bathroom hallway

Limited to sleeping on the porch (get out!)

Neighbors throwing bottles at their heads on Fridays

Maybe they should kill 'em (yeah!)

They shoulda had some children

Try some IVF or vitamins

Or yoga or a colon cleanse (what?)

The Jones's just aren't making friends

Those kitties are the bloody end

If they hadn't named 'em, it'd be swell

To flush 'em down the drinking well

Their life's become a living hell

But they're so cute, all of 'em

Abner, Ajax, Alfie, Alan, Alvin, Andy, Angus

Anton, Archie, Arlo, Arnie, Artie, Aspen, Atlas

Banjo, Banshee, Barney, Bartok, Batman, Beaver, Benji

Benson, Bernie, Bilbo, Bogart, Bongo, Boofy, Boombox, Bowtie, Braveheart

Bronson, Brubeck, Bumhead, Butler, Cabbage, Carlos, Casper, Cado, Chadwick

Chandler, Chauncey, Chester, Chicken, Comet, Cooper, Cornbread, Cricket, Crunchy, Curly, Curtis

Dallas, Derby, Dasher, Dereck, Dewey, Disco, Dogboy, Dozer, Dreckley

Elwood, Fatty, Fearless, Fergus, Finley, Flapjack, Fonzi, Francis, Fresco, Frostbite, Fuskis

Gary, Gavin, Geezer, Gipper, Gizmo, Gobble, Grimble

Guido, Gumby, Gustav, Haddock, Harold, Harvey, Hedwig, Herby

Hobbes and Hopscotch, Ian, Igor, Ivan, Jasper, Jelly, Jesus!

Jimbo, Jojo, Jordatch, Jumpy, Kirby, Larry, Lennox, Lewis, Liam, Linus, Magnus

Mandrake, Marvin, Maynard, Mickey, Monkey, Moses, Mustache, Nobby, Nomad

Norman, Novak, Nugget, Outlaw, Pablo, Papa, Pedro, Peppers, Pippin, Playboy, Quimby

Raffles, Rampage, Reggie, Ringo, Rolex, Sanchez, Sandstorm, Scooby, Skillet, Slapshot

Socko, Sooty, Sultan, Swayze, Taboo, Tarzan, Tio, Toaster, Tofu, Toothless, Vespa

Victor, Webster, Whamo, Woody, Wrangler, Yoda

Ziggy!

Mrs. Mary Winston Jones could not have any children

When her hubby's seed swam in, the Lord above just killed 'em

A senhora Mary Winston Jones não pôde ter filhos

Quando a semente do marido nadou pra dentro, o Senhor lá de cima simplesmente os matou (ai!)

Triste como foi, há um lado bom

Eles compraram dois gatinhos na adoção

Os tigradinhos começaram a se esfregar e isso levou a algo

Agora uma família feliz se formou ali

A casa tá uma bagunça com pelo e energia felina

E os corações dos Jones realmente aprenderam a cantar

O único problema agora é que eles não sabem como

Manter aqueles gatinhos em um lugar seguro

Escorregando em cocô no corredor do banheiro

Limitados a dormir na varanda (sai fora!)

Vizinhos jogando garrafas na cabeça deles nas sextas

Talvez eles deviam se livrar deles (é!)

Eles deviam ter tido filhos

Tentar uma fertilização in vitro ou vitaminas

Ou yoga ou uma limpeza intestinal (o quê?)

Os Jones simplesmente não estão fazendo amigos

Esses gatinhos são o fim do mundo

Se não tivessem dado nomes, seria ótimo

Descer com eles pelo esgoto

A vida deles virou um verdadeiro inferno

Mas eles são tão fofos, todos eles

Abner, Ajax, Alfie, Alan, Alvin, Andy, Angus

Anton, Archie, Arlo, Arnie, Artie, Aspen, Atlas

Banjo, Banshee, Barney, Bartok, Batman, Castor, Benji

Benson, Bernie, Bilbo, Bogart, Bongo, Boofy, Boombox, Gravata, Coração Valente

Bronson, Brubeck, Cabeça de Bunda, Butler, Repolho, Carlos, Casper, Cado, Chadwick

Chandler, Chauncey, Chester, Frango, Cometa, Cooper, Pão de Milho, Grilo, Crocante, Cacheado, Curtis

Dallas, Derby, Dasher, Dereck, Dewey, Disco, Dogboy, Dozer, Dreckley

Elwood, Gordão, Destemido, Fergus, Finley, Panqueca, Fonzi, Francis, Fresco, Mordida de Gelo, Fuskis

Gary, Gavin, Velhote, Gipper, Gizmo, Gobble, Grimble

Guido, Gumby, Gustav, Haddock, Harold, Harvey, Hedwig, Herby

Hobbes e Pular Corda, Ian, Igor, Ivan, Jasper, Geléia, Jesus!

Jimbo, Jojo, Jordatch, Jumpy, Kirby, Larry, Lennox, Lewis, Liam, Linus, Magnus

Mandrake, Marvin, Maynard, Mickey, Macaco, Moisés, Bigode, Nobby, Nômade

Norman, Novak, Nugget, Fora da Lei, Pablo, Papai, Pedro, Pimentas, Pippin, Playboy, Quimby

Raffles, Rampage, Reggie, Ringo, Rolex, Sanchez, Tempestade de Areia, Scooby, Frigideira, Slapshot

Socko, Sooty, Sultão, Swayze, Tabu, Tarzan, Tio, Torradeira, Tofu, Sem Dente, Vespa

Victor, Webster, Whamo, Woody, Wrangler, Yoda

Ziggy!

A senhora Mary Winston Jones não pôde ter filhos

Quando a semente do marido nadou pra dentro, o Senhor lá de cima simplesmente os matou