Fuck Up

Sunk so deep, you won't believe/
I can't proceed with this over me/
I know what you think when you say my name/
Talk about me like, oh he changed/
Now the dope is up his nose and i don't know if i can trust him/
And the smell of alcohol is too much for me to go hug him/
And it's hard to take, hard to watch, hard to look away/
But it's worse to be, in the middle of the shit trying to make up why to stay/
So i underestimate people/
Lie to myself, but I'm easy to see trough/
Use to be so proud, but take a look at these eyes, take a look at me now/
Everybody got a problem with me/
But then again, no one said life's easy/
Now i gotta watch where i put my feet/
Some don't even wanna look at me/
Every now and then i think back/
If i took another choice, where I'd be at/
Moma said I'm proud of you/
And my dad wanna help me, guide me trough/
And i DO wanna change/
but i keep coming back to the same old same/
snort a line, while i write a rhyme/
about quitting shit for a better life/
what the fuck is that, where's the discipline/
This tend to bring out the bitch in me/
And did i make this song for the sympathy?/
I don't know what it is, but I'm sick of it/

Look into my nephews eyes, i see myself/
back when i didn't care about nothing/
I'd rather be alone for now. figure out/
how to bring myself back down/
on the ground, on the ground/

'Cause now I'm flying higher than i ever could imagine/
And i was supposed to be scared of heights, like what happened?/
I guess we change, some for the better, some for the worse/
I'm stuck somewhere between em, it hurts/

It's dark at night, i miss the sunlight/
Miss saying things like, thanks I'm alright/
when you ask me, how I'm feeling/
well I'm happy, when I'm dreaming/
It's a whole 'nother world in my head/
when i close my eyes in my bed/
I make up places and people/
Replace myself if i need to/
Three little birds on my doorstep/
I see what he means when i go there/
so peaceful so quiet/
Alone, but self reliant/
I came to the point where i put the mic down, and said I'm done/
And with a life like this, you might just feel, like putting steel on your tongue/
Swear to god, seen suicides, i knew people who took their own/
So rest in peace to the people i knew, 'cause i know you can hear my song/
And i will be strong for me AND you/
Do what they tell me that i can't do/
In all your names, I'mma fight/
So i walk on stage for you tonight/
So when the lights hit me, i'mma shine for you/
Bottom line, I'm alive for you/
They gotta kill me to make us meet again/
'cause i ain't never giving up, i ain't leaving yet/
It's not for me no more, it's for all of us/
see you when i see you,i love you all/