Richard Interred

Elliot

I'm dying! i'm dying!
I told myself this tragedy would have a happy ending
I was lying
I'm trapped before the audience from hell and what
I'm selling they aren't buying
I'm dying! i'm flopping!
I let myself get tricked into appearing
Like some undiscovered gender
A bit of al pacino a lot of
Shirley temple on a bender

Mark

This is brilliant
It's a once-in-a-lifetime achievement
It's a vision that i believe in
It's a seminal work of art
How amazing
This theatrical trail i'm blazing
It's a miracle i created
It's a wonder i was ever underrated

An actor

It's hopeless

Mark

Exciting!

An actor

I should be playing richard

Another actor

If this doesn't work it has to be the lighting

Three actors

I wonder what that sour-looking woman
Sitting on the aisle is writing

Elliot

I'm a flop on off off-broadway
There's my agent; there he goes
Here at last on off off-broadway
And i'm wearing pantyhose

Cast of richard iii

If we run one week i can file for unemployment
If we run one week i can file for unemployment
It's a turkey, like the last time
Think of acting as a pastime
I may never work again

Audience members

It's painfull
Pathetic

The whole first row has slipped into a coma
Someone ought to call a medic

I've had more fun while undergoing
Root canal without an anesthetic
Various actors

This is not respectful silence
They are hostile, tense and bored
And i sense impending violence

Elliot

Well, at least i've got a sword

Audience

If we leave right now
We'll be home in time for "nightline"
If we leave right now
We'll be in time for "leno"

Audience members

Short of having conniption
I may cancel my subscription
I'll be home in time for "studs"

Elliot

I know i can play this part
But no one here will even have a clue
I've the right interpretation
And the proper motivation
But my chance was ruined from the start
I really can play this part

Paula

I'm dying! he's dying!
He looks so misera-bleh and
It breaks my heart to see how hard he's trying
And though i'm pretty bored
He strikes a chord in me
I almost feel like crying

Everyone

This show is so perverse
It can't get any worse
I'd love to disappear
The ending must be near
How much longer can i persevere?
I wish i were anywhere but here
He's killing he's career