The Happiest Town

[Herald]
Make Way! Make Way!
(spoken) Make way for the funeral procession
of Doctor Victor von Frankenstein, maker of monsters!

[All]
Listen to our tale of woe,
a story we must tell.
What happened in that castle made our lives a living hell!

A mad man who was crazy
brought a dead man back to life,
who hurt and lamed
and killed and maimed,
our town was torn with strife!

[Women]
But now we're not afraid no more,
we see a brighter day.

[All]
He's laid to rest,
we're truly blessed,
and this is what we say...

Things are swell now,
ring that bell now
We're in heaven,
no more hell now.

Now the doctor's dead, goodbye to dread
We're the Happiest Town in Town!

We're all smiles now,
lose t hat frown now
No more monsters get us down now
Now the doctor's passed,
We're free at last
We're the Happiest Town in Town!

(spoken)
[Kemp]
Hold the happiness!

[Villagers]
Kemp! Kemp! It's Inspector Kemp! It's Kemp!

[Woman #1]
Hold the happiness? Why, Inspector Kemp?

[Kemp]
Because as long as a Frankenstein lives, our village is in danger!

[Male #1]
But, Inspector, the Baron is dead. And he was the last of the Frankenstein!

[Kemp]
No!

[Villagers]
No?

[Kemp]
One lives! A grandson!

[Ziggy]
Who is he?

[Herald]
What does he do?

[Kemp]
He's a professor,
the Dean of Anatomy at New York's most famous institute of higher learning,
the Johns, Miriam, and Anthony
Hopkins School of Medicine!
As long as this Young Frankenstein walks the earth, we will never be safe.

[Ziggy]
I may be the village idiot, but I ask you
What are the chances of a New York doctor ever coming to Transylvania?

[All]
None! Yeah!

(sung)
On this happy day we say amen
We have wanted this
since God knows when

[Ziggy]
No more Frankenstein

[All]
You can say that again!

[Ziggy]
No more Frankenstein

[All]
We're the Happiest Town in Town
No more Frankenstein

[Ziggy]
No more Frankenstein
[Women]
No more Frankenstein
x3

[Ziggy and Women]
Frankenstein...Frankenstein
Frankenstein...Frankenstein
Frankenstein...Frankenstein