Just Once, Just Once, To Feel

I touched the flame but felt no heat
My veins run cold beneath the beat
Every whisper, every vow
Just echoes off the walls somehow
I watch them burn, I watch them bleed
But nothing ever reaches me

I crave a spark inside my chest
A reason for this emptiness

I want to love, but I can't feel it
Like static in a ghost's heartbeat
I want to drown in something real
But the water never reaches me
I'm chasing shadows in the dark
Begging God to give me scars
So I can know that I was real
Just once, just once, to feel

I've kissed the mouth of misery
And prayed it would awaken me
But all it did was steal my name
And leave me hollow just the same
I paint affection on my skin
But it fades before it sinks in

I scream in silence, soft and small
Is it love or nothing at all?

I want to love, but I can't feel it
Like static in a ghost's heartbeat
I want to drown in something real
But the water never reaches me
I'm chasing shadows in the dark
Begging God to give me scars
So I can know that I was real
Just once–just once–to feel

Maybe I'm cursed, maybe I'm clay
A heart sculpted, then thrown away
Every pulse a hollow drum
Every lover turns to none

Tear me open, let me see
If there's a soul inside of me
If there's a light beneath this ache
If love is real or just a fake

I want to love, but I can't feel it
Like thunder in a muted dream
I want to burn beneath the skin
But the fire won't remember me
I'm chasing phantoms through the dark
Begging life to leave its mark
So I can know that I was real
Just once, just once, to feel