Good At This

You turned my men to swine, how fitting
You think you're the witch here, darling
But watch me work this room
Your magic fails, now kneel
And take a guess
Where I'll sheathe this blade
Say yes

Finally something that doesn't hurt
Tastes like honey, tastes like dirt

I'm so good at this
Finding new ways not to feel
You're medicine
Your emptiness
But empty's better than what's real

A year dissolved like sugar in wine
My men are ghosts I've learned to lose
You're the better bruise to choose
Your bed's a war I always win
Let me conquer
Let me in

Finally something I can control
Your body's better than my soul

I'm so good at this
Finding new ways not to think
You're medicine
Your nothingness
But nothing's better than the sink

Wait
How long have I been lying here?
They look at me like I'm the pig
You never changed me, I changed myself
Into something easier to bear
Someone anchored, going nowhere
Taking bodies instead of care
This isn't healing, this is hiding
This isn't winning, this is drowning
And I'm the one who chose the water
Wake up
Wake up
Wake up
Wake up

I was good at this
Too good at disappearing whole
You're not medicine, you're sickness
That I poured into my soul

You kiss me goodbye like you knew all along
The spell was never mine, was it?
One more year just to stay numb
No, I have to feel this