Nothing Compares To Nineteen

I remember fourteen
No existential dread yet
Only schoolboys to be scared of
And trying not to be noticed

Even though I was a loner
The house was still a home
And when you’re growing up sheltered
Nothing changes but the weather

Then along came all the numbness
My mother noticed it
'Cause I wasn’t at the table
But underneath my covers crying
So she took me to the doctors
They declared me with depression
And when we talked about fixing me up
They went straight to head medicine

And the school set me up with the counsellor
Social anxiety heightened
Taken as a fool to my body
And shameful of what the mirror sold me

Then I opened up to my father
He said he was just the same when he was seventeen
And when I asked if someone knew that he was hurting
He said boys didn’t talk about feelings
No boys still don’t talk about feelings

But nothing compares to nineteen
It hit me with a fist full of a new feeling
No nothing compares to nineteen
It hit me with a fist full of a new feeling
No nothing compares
No nothing compares
No nothing compares to nineteen

I'd never lost someone, I'd never lost a friend
And he was only twenty-one, silence the killer in the end
Silence the killer