I'm Dying Alone, And That's Okay

Sun is overhead, my eyes finally open to white skies
Atrophied muscles, will out of my bed
Yet the journey's all in my head

Pull up my phone to see who still gives a shit about me
I roll over once again and continue dreaming
A life fulfilling that's not rotting in my head

Oh, I fucked it up
Once again I am just a klutz to the end
And that's all I'll be
I don't know what to believe

As the memories fade
The light within me has all been unmade
I grasp for the moments I had with you

When I see them all I have to force a mask of a sanguine face
I gotta lock in, don't be a downer
No one wants to see ya like this

I tried to reach the blue beyond yet dial tones greet me
So you're my one only hope but your silence gives me a stroke
Is it really a sin to be reassured you're with me?

I screwed it all up
Queen of the idiots is all that I am
From now till the end
I shrink back to my mattress grave

It's a cold comfort
Yet it will not leave me like those whom I loved
I reach for the kindness that you had for me

I've always learnt if I had nothing good to say
Then I should not speak anything at all, so why do I
Say nothing about myself?

When the memories fade
The light within me will all be unmade
I'll sleep from now till the heat death of the universe