OH OH OH !(squishy sound)
Sitting in my house
and i know im all alone,
Felling kind'a horny
got a tingle in my bone

Going grab a penthouse
its the one with Sharron Stone,
HEY MASTURBATOR!

I go a little faster
and its feeling kind'a nice
once ain't enough so i have to do it twice
you wanna spank the monkey
I can give you good advice
HEY MASTURBATOR!

*Woman moans*

I use some baby oil
or a lil' vaseline
laying down a towel
so i keep my carpet clean
Never shake my hand
cuz' you don't know where its been

HEY MASTURBATOR!

Im do it in the car
while im driving down the street
One hand on the wheel
and the other on my meat
I can't get out the car
cuz im sticking to the seat

HEY MASTURBATOR!

*Tom Green,a goat and the woman moan*

Since i was a kid
i have been a masturbator
stroke the chicken
holding now its squeezin the tomatoe
I put the miss novermber
Now im gonna take orator

HEY MASTURBATOR!

Bumbing the bannana
miss the lizard
shake and bake'em
counting on the flounder
and its mak'n a jamaican
Spank the frank
watch the carrot
got my hand its aken

HEY MASTURBATOR!

*everyone moans*
HEY MASTURBATOR!

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