I Let You Fade

Parking lot light buzzing over our heads
Rain on the windshield, blurring what you said
You sighed: I can't keep bleeding for two
Hands in your pockets, eyes straight through

Key fob shaking in my stupid hand
Mouth full of words that would not land
You turned away with your jaw locked tight
Tail lights cut a line through the night

I still taste that night every time I breathe
All the soft lies stuck behind my teeth
One slammed door and the world rearranged
Now every heartbeat sounds like your name

I'm still trapped in the night you said: Leave
Hands on the wheel, but I couldn't breathe
It's not the hurt, it's the choice I made
I let you fade

Every road that I take still screams your name
It's not the hurt, it's the choice I made
I let you fade

Your coffee cup's still stained on my desk
Lip print there like a closing threat
I wear your shirt when the nights get loud
Then rip it off when I think too proud

Friends say: Man, you gotta let it go
But they weren't there in that yellow glow
When you stared through me like I wasn't there
Every promise hanging thin in the air

I still taste that night every time I breathe
All the sharp truths hiding under my teeth
One small word might have changed your mind
Now I chew on every line I left behind

I'm still trapped in the night you said: Leave
Hands on the wheel, but I couldn't breathe
It's not the hurt, it's the choice I made
I let you fade

Every road that I take still screams your name
It's not the hurt, it's the choice I made
I let you fade

I've punched walls just to feel something crack
Blamed the mirror, blamed the pills, blamed the lack
Turned my chest into a war I can't win
Every kick drum beating where you've been

But I can't stay parked in that scene on repeat
Living tied down to an empty seat
If you called right now, I'd still hesitate
'Cause I finally see what I did when I watched you

I'm not stuck in the night you said: Leave
Hands on the wheel, and I finally breathe
It's not the hurt, it's the choice I change
I won't let you fade

Every road that I take won't wear your name
It's not the hurt, it's the weight I trade
I won't let me fade
I won't let me fade