self-inflicted storms

I've been running circles 'round the same old fears
Tracing patterns that I've drawn for years
I want the light but hide behind the shade
I want the truth but flinch at what it says
Every time I get a little close to right
I pull the rug and blame the night

It's not the world that knocks me down
Half the time, it's me coming back around

I make self-inflicted storms, I know
Lightning from the places I won't let go
I'm the reason I trip on my own feet
Building walls and calling them retreat
I see the finish line but turn away
Wrecking what I wanted anyway
I'm both the wound and the knife that forms
These self-inflicted storms

I know my flaws like they're written on my skin
Old confessions that I circle back again
I sabotage the things I ache to keep
Lose my grip the moment love gets deep
I turn soft whispers into hurricane winds
And claim it's fate when I cave in

And everyone says healing's in my hands
But I keep folding all my plans

I make self-inflicted storms, I know
Lightning from the places I won't let go
I'm the reason I trip on my own feet
Building walls and calling them retreat
I see the finish line but turn away
Wrecking what I wanted anyway
I'm both the wound and the knife that forms
These self-inflicted storms

Maybe someday I'll trust the Sun
Stop running from the good I've won
Maybe I'll stop treating hope like crime
And quit rewriting endings all the time
But until then, darling, hold my hand
I break myself more than you'll understand

I make self-inflicted storms, it's true
Rain I summon every time I'm close to something new
I'm the architect of my own collapse
Drawing treasure maps that lead me back
But maybe one day I'll survive the way
I push the best of me away

'Cause I'm both the wound and the knife that forms
These self-inflicted storms
But I'm learning how to brave the swarm

(Self-inflicted storms)
(Self-inflicted storms)
(Self-inflicted storms)