Resilience

I was born in a country built on nepotism
Stuck in the 4th f’ing century in its anachronism
South to north, it amazed me with its fundamentalism
If I sound harsh, forgive my cynicism
I was raised surrounded by perfectionism
I was praised in my fountain of illusionism
This mechanism taught me all the pessimism, existentialism
I think I need an exorcism

I got resilience
What didn't kill me gave me so much experience
The world can be so hideous
But it taught me that I got that resilience

Had a cancer diagnosis at 23
I needed answers, WTF was going on with me
So much anger, confusion I fell for delusions
Of hell and seclusion, myself as inhuman
All the drugs, psychosis wasn't far they said
All the blood, supernovas were inside my head
Thought doctors were idiots, well I was delirious
This shit's ignominious
Oblivious
Insidious

I got resilience
What didn't kill me gave me so much experience
The world can be so hideous
But it taught me that I got that resilience

Paradox: Hardship teaches happiness
I care a lot and hard shit made it obvious
If my pressure drops, tachycardic in my dizziness
No weariness can get to this assuredness, my diligence
I didn't know how much l needed to express
Couldn't let it go, the crutch of having to suppress
My openness
Fastidious
So serious
Insidious
Obedience really hits
I got resilience

I got resilience
What didn't kill me gave me so much experience
The world can be so hideous
But it taught me that I got that resilience