How's it going everybody now you're very welcome to this evening's Cabaret,
I'd like to thank you for the trouble, you've been taking to come and hear me play
Like I know the efforts that you make and all the troubles you had to take
When you decide you're gonna go out and see a show
Your wife says "Oh not Christy Moore, we've heard him loads of times before,
We're gonna miss Gay Byrne on the Late Late Show.
Ah, there's people here upon my word, from every corner of the world:
From Portalington. Portlaoise and Tullamore.
From Two Mile House and Poulaphouca, Blacktrench, Cutbush and Boolea,
Such a crowd I've never seen before.
Well you're welcome welcome everyone,
Special Branch all on the run
With your Fine Gael, Fianna Fáil or Sinn Féin.
When the elections are all over we'll be pushing up clover
I tell ye everyone in the graveyard votes the same.
My belly thought my throat was cut,
And all the restaurants were shut as I was driving out through Kinnegad.
So I drove on to Mother Hubbard's where I saw a swarm of truckers,
And I said to myself This place doesn't look too bad.
In came a forty foot lorry, leaking lines of slurry,
And the King of the Road jumps down and he says to me:
"Hey John. Don't I know you're face are ye Paddy Reilly or Brendan Grace,
Are ye Mary Black or Freddie White says he.
I said "come hear and I'll tell ye"....
And wait till I tell you what happened to me today.
I was coming up the dual carriageway.
Half a mile the far side of Naas,
The Irish army they were all over the place,
So I pulled in and I rolled my window down.
The Saighdúirí* surrounded my car,
I thought it was the third world war,
Some of them boys were throwing Shi'ite shapes.
I said " Hey Brigadier General, what appears to be the trouble?"
He said "Don't forget your shovel, have you any auld autographs or tapes?"
I do say I but what about the Leb?