Hot River

Do you long to cavort?
Here's a new water sport
That you ought to try
It's a Fahrenheit dream
Hot and covered with steam
You won't be bored
Do you want to get wet?
Are you starting to sweat?
Slip over the side
Now we're caught in a swell
Here's where Heaven and Hell
Start to collide

It's slippery and slimy
Reach over here and tie me
I'm so warm I can hardly move
Mother never told me
I'd need someone to hold me
But where I'm from the rivers are all cold

It's a fisherman's dream
Dinner's already steamed
And ready to eat
When you feel your resolve
Is about to dissolve
Then stop for a treat
In a river of steam
Nothing seems too obscene
So let down your hair
While you drift through a trough
Slip your bathing suit off
And really get clean

You can do your laundry
While your thoughts are wandering
And you watch the passing swimmer's poach
You don't need no Sterno
In Dante's Inferno
It's thermohydriatically controlled

You can't stay in too long
'Cause the heat is too strong
You're starting to slide
Grab ahold of the rope
Throw your soap in the boat
Climb over the side
We can come back for more
When we start to get bored
There's nothing as wild
As a Hot River swim
On the volcanic rim