I'm a fucking actor

If I'm happy, it's staged
If I'm sad it's for a scene
Why does it feel like there's always a script in my mind?
Is the 20-year crisis coming?
But my cries aren't staged, baby (or maybe they are)

How at school I seem not to be what I seem
You say I can't get my characters out of my head
But how do I do this?
I should curse you, but instead I wrote about

'Cause I'm a fucking actor
Who cannot convey emotions in real life
And you might be the one to wipe the smile off my face
Because as you often say
I'm a fucking actor
And maybe I should improve my crying
Or my angry face when you betray me

Feeling like Angelina Jolie
In Mr. And Mrs. Smith
Because we broke the house and I cried a lot that day
You said I don't handle emotions well
But what if you are the problem?
We never thought about it

I'm mad at myself for not being able to love myself
First of all, I should have killed myself in February
Why did my good guy role end and the movie continued
I still think about all the expressions I can put on my face
When I see you cheating on me

'Cause I'm a fucking actor
Who cannot convey emotions in real life
And you might be the one to wipe the smile off my face
Because as you often say
I'm a fucking actor
And maybe I should improve my crying
Or my angry face when you betray me

It's not easy to interpret complex people
My characters are always fucked up in the head
Maybe they're like me, or like my subconscious
Baby, I'm a fucking actor

It's not easy to cry at sad scenes
Why can't I express my feelings
Why is my paper superficial and full of defects
That I can't fix

'Cause I'm a fucking actor
A fucking actor