Ok, settle down you all, settle down lady
He's gonna be on stage real soon, that's right
Mama, put your popcorn down, he's turning to the band
Yeah, he's running his legs off
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Robbie Williams

Just because you're dyslexic
Doesn't mean you're not fake
We know you're not that stupid
You'll marry someone rich
Bet you won't steal his watch
When you're down by near his crotch
That'll explain the itch

You were such a lying bitch
I know you hold my suitcase
Down in Kensington
And you were screwing Ewen
When I wasn't in
Did it to me, you'll do it to him
Your friends just gave me grief
I will make this brief
You were such a lousy thief
You were such a lousy thief

But you were good in bed
You were good in bed
So good in bed

Now you tell my girlfriend
That I'll never change
You've been up since Wednesday
Don't you find that strange
Your ex-boyfriend is deranged
You'll tell them down in Browns
Haven't been for years
It's full of coke and tears
Full of coke and tears
Full of coke and tears

But you were good in bed
Good in bed

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you
On behalf of Mr Robbie Williams and the band
You've been a fantastic audience
Robbie's opened his heart out to you tonight
And you've really taken him on board
Remember the name and whenever he's in the neighbourhood
You get yourselves down there, alright
It's been a great evening, thank you very much
Robbie Williams has now left the building
Oh, no, I'm afraid he's come back for his coke
Now he's left the building
Thank you very much
Thank you very much

Glory, glory, hallelujah
Glory, glory, hallelujah
Glory, glory, hallelujah
Glory, glory, hallelujah