Nobody's Doing the Job

Nobody's doing the job they want to be doing
Don't you see that's the whole problem?

The waiter wants to be an actor
And the dentist wants to be a violinist
The lawyer wants to be just about anything but a lawyer
But still make a fortune and live off the interest
The baby wants to be a big girl
And the teacher wants to be a performer
The dancer used to be the thing she always wanted to be
But now she's the maitre d'
The businessman wants to be a musician
And the housewife wants to be a magician
The doctor doesn't want to be a physician
But the restaurateur now he's found a cure
For the nine to five blues
But the messenger he doesn't want to bring the news
The bus driver wants to win the lottery
And the thief has to be what he's gotta be
And nobody wants to be a bum
The piano player wants to beat the drum
Mostly everybody thinks they'd like to be a star
Except celebrities in magazines you read
That say how difficult it is to be the thing they are
And that something else is really what they need.