Joy Distributor

I threw my tirades to the wind so I could roam
Through the whitest snows
And gave up my sense of failure and its throne
I'm not a king alone
Then I tried to take you with me and bestow
Some simple joy and hope
Since when have you ever known me to be so wrong?
Or has your faith been lost?

I pushed a little too long on this hurt and now I gotta let it go
I got so dazed but your weakness
Are you brave?
Goddamn you got a coward's soul

So I left myself wide open for your call
A second chance to talk
But when the third and fourth and fifth left me appalled
I had to cut your loss

Gave up so I could get on
My way since you have withdrawn
Any semblance of our home
Don't say that it's been too long
It's past anything that I've known
And I've been waiting all along
Goddamn how do you get on?
I'll never understand how I came to be on my own

I found our carnage laid plain in stone
A gorgeous heartache that I've never known
It haunts the part of me that shows
Your bold impression and takes its toll