Before Now

Before I knew or so they say
I never lost but got my own way
Before the melting glacial snow
All those days seem so long ago

Before our eyes opened up so wide
Heard doubtful voices deep inside
Before love left all her cruel marks
And wisdom wound all my hopes dark

Before loneliness squatted your halls
And west moved east against your call
Before bitterness claimed rightful place
And hope lost all her sugar coated taste

I will wait for you
Before and now it's the least I can do

And now it's here in the guilt blood red
In my nervous veins long unfed
And now it's here jousting at my skin
Facing up to facts that I couldn't let you in

I don't want to grow old, not like this
I just want to live free, free to exist