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Jerry Springer

"Weird Al" Yankovic


It's been, one week since we got to see,
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry.
5 days since they had the show with the hermaphrodite, the slut,and the crackhoe
3 days since we heard the tale about the guy who learned hiswoman was a she-male.
Yesterday, it occured to me, that I'd been watching too muchJerry Springer.

Holy Cow, didya see it last week?
They had this one freak,
Who suckered punched his whole family.
Do you recall when the brawl became a total 'free-for-all' andjerry's in the middle trying to be the referee?
Hey, see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap-dance, and date the boyfriend of her mother.
Now here comes Jerry's next guest, and it's a slug fest cuz it'sa trailer trash brother.

There's a maniac whos back can crack it's like when animalsattack and they all exhibit rehensible behaviour.
and when they all stand on their toes and remove all theirclothes they get so violent they have to sign a waiver.
They're always whoring, cursing, laughing, point and blame, andwhen they're on the air they got no shame.
There was one guy I'm sure he felt a little strange, when hefound out that his wife had a sex change.
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly,
They have a history of ripping off their shirts...

It's been One week since they had the fight,
with the Siamese twins and the transvestite.
5 days since that awful brawl,
They still haven't got the blood off the wall, it's been
3 days since the interview between the KKK and the gay Jewishblack dude.
Yesterday, it finally dawned on me, that I'd been watching a bittoo much Jerry Springer.

Speaking: Baby, I've been sleeping with your sister.
Well, Which one?
All of 'em.
Well I've been sleeping with you're best friend, Jay!
Well, Me too and i've been sleeping with your dog, Woofie.
Woofie, you b*tch. I've been sleeping wiith your pet goat.
That goat don't love you

Once you start watching, there's just no stopping
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's dropping.
Jerry's the king of confrontation, he's a sensation, he puts thesin in sindication
He's totally worthless loke a bad check, it's like a trainwreck,
Don't want to stare, but you can't look away.
Like Sally Jesse, he does talk shows, but with more weirdos,
The rating's jumping higher every day.

If you've seen the show, then you know it's about as low as youcan go,
The guests are tacky, and they're lacking in their hygiene.
And pretty soon, some ugly goon comes in the room, and then it'sboom in the face of some unsuspecting Drag Queen
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obsanities,yanking hair, throwing chairs at their hubbies.
Jerry, Jerry, now the crowd starts their favourite chant.
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't.
I have a tendency to watch it religiously, I have a history oftaping each one.

It's been One week since the show about,
Psycho killers with problems they should work out.
5 days since the big surprise, some loser found out that she'sdating 20 guys,
3 days since the interview, a bunch of f*cking whores are madeinto an all new
Yesterday it occured to me, that I've been watching a bit toomuch jerry Springer.

I've been wasting my time on that Jerry Springer,
I've got way too much time to watch Jerry Springer.
Come over here and pull on my finger.

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