Subterranean Hemorrhoid Blues

A bloody toilet, how did I survive?
Excruciating pain

A growth tumor, that feels alive
Just below my tain't

Break into a cold sweat
Am I about to die?

Struggle to walk, feel the sting
Oh God, why choose I?

Sneeze and talk loudly, make it bleed
Hemorrhoid will get you, feet thy sting
The growth sent from lucifer, can't sit straight
Try to stuff it back in, but it's too late!

NO HOPE! NO LIFE!

Stuff a tube up my ass
Humiliating shame

Hemorrhoid will never leave you
Expect more of the same

Next time you take a shit
Just let it flow

Cos if it ain't gonna happen
Just pinch the loaf