Better With a Man

When a fellow needs a little helping hand
Who'll be there? It's almost guaranteed
No one else could ever really understand
Only another man knows what you need
And when a man has fallen down upon his knees
In such a moment who'd be better than
Someone who's self-controlled
Someone who's strong and bold
Someone as good as gold
It's better with a man

Better with a man
Then you agree, my friend?

Indeed, I do!
When a man is lonely he can always find
Another man who's feeling just the same
Drink will help you get your troubles off your mind
You'll both be blind before you know his name
And in that rousing climax when your horse comes in
Who will cheer as loudly as he can?
Only a man can see
The meaning of victory
Oh, the camaraderie
It's better with a man
HENRY
It's better with a man

MONTY
Women have much to recommend

HENRY
Women have much to recommend
Lord knows I've had my share

HENRY & MONTY
But when a fellow needs a friend

HENRY
That's a totally different affair

MONTY
Women are soft against your skin
They're awfully nice to nestle with

HENRY
But when the sport is masculine-

HENRY & MONTY
You need a man to wrestle with!
HENRY
Gentlemen have secrets they will never tell

MONTY
Gentlemen have secrets they will never tell

HENRY
No, they will never tell

HENRY & MONTY
They'll never tell their wives

HENRY
Married men know there are things you must not say

HENRY & MONTY
Discretion is the only way
That love survives

HENRY
Men are always there

MONTY
Men are always there

HENRY
Always there to share
MONTY
Always there to share
And take good care
As mates and brothers

HENRY
Nothing can compare
For instance

HENRY & MONTY
Take a look at us
It's been ever thus
Since boarding school began

HENRY
Women are too complex

MONTY
Women too often vex

HENRY & MONTY
Men are a simpler sex

HENRY
It's better with a man

MONTY
Better with a man

HENRY
Better with a man

HENRY & MONTY
Better with a man!

(Spoken) Bottoms up!