God, I'm Tired

But I'm still here
I've been holding up the ceiling
While the house begins to shake
Smiling like a savior
When my hands about to break

I keep swallowing the thunder
So the room can stay at peace
But every storm I hope away
Keeps burying me underneath

And I sing like Orpheus
To escape from this hell
But every note comes back to me
Like a prayer I couldn't tell

If you were always listening
Then you'd know how far I fell
I turn my pain into a hymn
So no one heard me yell

God, I'm tired
Of holding up the sky
I keep saving everybody
While I'm breaking deep inside

If you hear me in the silence
Send a sign that I'll survive
God, I'm tired
But I'm still alive

Heaven cried above me
But I wiped the tears alone
Learned to be the fire
When I never had a home

I've been carrying the names
Of every ghost I couldn't save
And I still feel mercy
When it feels just like a grave

So I sing like Orpheus
With the dead beneath my feet
Trying to lead my soul back home
Through the dark between the screams

If God was really listening
Then He heard what I became
A boy who held the world too long
And forgot his own name

God, I'm tired
Of holding up the sky
I keep saving everybody
While I'm breaking deep inside

If you hear me in the silence
Send a sign that I'll survive
God, I'm tired
But I'm still alive

I don't wanna crown
I don't wanna be brave
I just wanna quiet a place
Where I don't have to save

Every heart, every home
Every war I didn't start
I have carried so much heaven
That it tore my soul apart

I sang through the fire
I crawled through the rain
I begged for an answer and called it fate
I held up the sky
Till it fell through my hands

God, if you hear me
Make me whole again

God, I'm tired
Of holding up the sky
I keep saving everybody
While I'm breaking deep inside

If you hear me in the silence
Send a sign that I'll survive
God, I'm tired
But I'm alive

God, I'm tired
But I'm still alive