Pet Peeves

Sup, fellas?
Dude Perfect
Yas, yas, ha-ha, ha-ha
Why are you talking like that?
Recording a lit video, bro
A song about pet peeves, brah
That's interesting
My number one pet peeve is people overusing bro and brah
I hear you, bro
But pet peeves are makin' my life a grind, brah
You're actually grindin' on my nerves
Like, right now

Man, listen
I'ma break it down with precision
The mission is to expose pet peeve conditions
I'll list 'em, like couples who oversay bae
Or people goin' around sayin': That's cray-cray
Man, I gotta be honest, I was really hopin'
You could stop eatin' with your mouth wide open
And try Scopin', please back up off me
Breath smellin' like burnt dog poop and coffee
And stop these baby-naming catastrophes
Like Ransom: Melanomia and Abcde
And I am sick of passin' these dogs that bark a lot
Why are you leavin' grocery carts in the parkin' lot?
And whether it's dark or not
Why, oh why, oh why, oh why, are you takin' two parkin' spots?

'Cause you're driving me nuts
Like missin' one foot puts
I think I'm hatin' your guts
It's simply too much

Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life a grind
Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life, my life, my life, oh
Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life a grind
Pet peeves are on my mind
A grind, a grind, a grind, a grind, oh

It happens every day
Why must it be this way?
Another couple throwin' down excessive PDA
And what am I supposed to do?
It always lights my fuse
When I squeeze mustard, but all I get is mustard juice

You know what really grinds my gears?
Is when someone's watching a movie
And the other guy's like not paying attention
And then he asks like a million questions
Dude, you do that
Wait, what?
No, I don't
Yes, you do
Bro

Dude Perfect
Listen up, it will be worth it
I can't stand it when pet peeves surface
Like openin' a cereal bag and it explodes
Or no toilet paper over by the commode
Or someone breakin' the code of eatin' food off my plate
They didn't order no fries, but all of mine they ate
I can't stand human zombies in a trance with their phone
I can't stand human beings wearin' too much cologne
I can't stand close talkers, people all in my face
Or people talkin' in a movie, this is such a disgrace
Or people actin' like clowns, loud, talkin' their phones
I wanna get up in their face and say: I do not condone
I hate sign-stealin' cheaters
One-up storytellers
Constant interrupters
BO body smellers

'Cause you're drivin' me nuts
Like missin' one foot puts
I think I'm hatin' your guts
It's simply too much

Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life a grind
Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life, my life, my life, oh
Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life a grind
Pet peeves are on my mind
A grind, a grind, a grind, a grind, oh

It happens every day
I can't believe when I see
Someone refuse to cover their mouth when they have to sneeze
And what am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to breathe?
When someone says: Supposably instead of supposedly

Oh, and another one of my pet peeves is when you go to a restaurant
And the waiter like insists on not writing the order down
Like he's from harvard and trying to showboat
And then he gets the whole thing wrong
Yeah, totally

Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life a grind
Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life, my life, my life, oh
Pet peeves are on my mind
Makin' my life a grind
Pet peeves are on my mind
A grind, a grind, a grind, a grind, oh

Just thought of my biggest pet peeve
People that think they can sing, but they can't
Oh, dude
How bad is that?
So true, oh
And they're oblivious
They don't know how bad they are
They have no idea
It's like plan B, I can't do this
I guess I'll be a singer on YouTube