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Ignore Tenderness

Julia Jacklin

I’ve been trying to be turned on by you
Be turned on by myself, or anything else
Been watching porn; lights off, headphones on
Right when pleasure begins my education creeps in
I’ve been stripping right down
Staring at my own reflection
Ever since I was 13, I’ve been pulled in every direction
Such a good student, of all that conflicting advice
Go put ice in your mouth
Let them slap you about
Go on, choke yourself out
But leave no room for doubt that

You are brave
Beneath the sheets, you’re just a cave
A plastic bucket, or a gravе
Who said: You’re not what you get
You are what you gavе away?

I’ve been thinking back to when things went off track
You know that’s not what I wanted, is that why I feel haunted?
By something small, strong enough to destroy it all
If I don’t change soon, will it forever eclipse the Moon
That keeps me stable?
Away from all of that advice
That put words in my mouth
All those drinks on the house
Go on, just let it all out
But leave no room for doubt that

You are brave
A little leaf catching a wave
Strong but willing to be saved
Ignore the tenderness you crave
Be naughty but don’t misbehave
Who said: You’re not what you get
You are what you gavе away?

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