A Courting Song

Write a loving letter, boy
That swoops and sweeps and curls
The calligrapher is just the thing
To help you win your girl

Then you'll need to dress up smart
The tailor's here by chance
He'll stitch your trousers, hole your belt
In the fine couture of France

Your shoes, my goodness, how they're worn
But you're too young to know
Nothing courts a woman's scorn
More than scuffs on the toe

The cobbler can attend to that
Meanwhile you must have cake
The baker and the patissier
Need work, for goodness sake

Hi-dee-diddly-dum-ti-dum-ti-day
What a merry time we'll have
Upon your wedding day!
Hi-dee-diddly-dum-ti-dum-ti-day
There's work for all when little boys get married

That pointy cone upon your head
You can't be wearing that
The milliner, he'll fix you up
With a proper high silk hat

The bride, of course, she'll need a dress
On that we must agree
The seamstress, my young lover
Oh, how grateful she will be!

The rings! By gum, did I forget?
Well, that's my favorite part
The vows, the whole romantic mess
Now that's the jeweler's art!

And so, you see, our handiwork
Is yours if you're inclined
But our livelihood's at stake
So don't you go and change your mind

Hi-dee-diddly-dum-ti-dum-ti-day
What a merry time we'll have
Upon your wedding day!
Hi-dee-diddly-dum-ti-dum-ti-day
There's work for all! The little boy's gettin' married