Happy New Year

So here we are again, another digit down the line
There's nothing new to say or feel so just watch the time go by
And I feel a sudden sickness grasp it's claws around my brain
Knowing everything we've said and done and yet this year too is the same
Oh I'm so sick of moving forwards, leaving more to haunt my mind
I wanna take away my future so I can stop being left behind
It's good to see that you moved on, I can watch you from the rail
While I'm sitting here decaying and waiting, realising another year is all gone

Another chance to change that I can waste
So I can hurt inside
And I watch us ignore the lessons we've been taught
Another chance to feel there's something more
Than life just passing by
And I wasted all the time that I'd been bought
But I'll have a very fucking happy new year

Self destruction, masterbation, dreams of giving up
Remembering to just begin something I can't fuck up
The night's never dark enough, the light burns holes in me
Shorting circuits and longing to understand how I managed to get here again
No matter what happens in every single day
This time of year comes around again and it's always exactly the same
The lesson that I've learnt - don't believe a word
Caring is a weakness and living is the way we hurt

Another chance to change that you can waste
So you can hurt inside
And I watch us ignore the lessons we've been taught
Another chance to feel there's something more
Than life just passing by
And I hope you can forget the pain I caused
And have a very fucking happy new year

Without me.