Christmas Is a Bitch

Christmas really freaks me out, it makes me feel alone
I think that elves are creepy, I'm not a fan of snow
Forgive me when I say that christmas is a bitch
Chocolate makes my skin breakout
I don't like decorations
I'm sick of all these cheesy songs that play on every station
I think it's all so whack, but people seem to disagree
The kids wait up for santa claus, the man with overalls
He eats their milk and cookies, must have high cholesterol
But who am I to judge? This guy is not even real
Cause mistletoe and candy canes, all of it's so freaking lame
Sorry if I sound insane

Christmas sweaters make me itch
Decorations always glitch
That's why christmas is a bitch

There's people shopping at the mall for phones and big tv's
Wasting all their money on lights and christmas trees
Making corporations rich, that's why christmas is a bitch
And every time I look around, I see a smiling face
Is this a problem just with me or with the human race?
All of these really annoying songs that people love to sing
What can I possibly be missing from this christmas thing?
Kids wait up for santa claus, a weird dude with overalls
He eats their milk and cookies, this guy has gotta have high cholesterol
But it makes people happy, it makes no sense to me
It's a fat guy who breaks into your house, it's bullshit
There's mistletoe and candy canes, I find all of this shit so lame
I don't like playing cheerful games
If only I could flip a switch
It's a complicated sitch
That's why christmas is a bitch

These stupid sweaters make me itch
Decorations always glitch
That's why christmas is a bitch