Ur Name On a Grain Of Rice

I should have said so much to you
Which is lame but maybe kind of nice
Like scratchoffs in a birthday card
Or your name on a grain of rice

And I've been sick since seventh grade
And it's not terrible but it's too long
And we still talk but now it's changed
Does it hurt more to just move on?

Maybe I loved you
Or maybe I wanted to
See something through
Just 'cause I never do

And I should call but I'm afraid
Of what you're gonna say
Notice all the ways I've changed
And all the ways I've stayed the same

And I hate talking on the phone
Because my speaking voice is boring
And I can't stand to be alone
'cause it's so easy to ignore me

I'm shouting it now 'cause I can't write it down
I let it pour out from the sides of my mouth
All sequined and stoned sucking in through my teeth
I'm taking it home with me, still learning to speak