HERstory Of The World


Hey it's me, God
Good girls may go to heaven
But bad girls rule the world
Who's the baddest bitch in herstory?
Well who am I to judge?
Eve: -courtesy of Jenaroo
In the beginning there were 1 2 3
Adam and me and my best friend Steve
They started making out in front of me
That's when I told them that they had to leave (Get out!)
They took all the fruit from me except the apple on the tree- it was forbidden!
God are you kiddin'?
And then the snake told me to bake an apple pie and not a cake- so I did it!
I went and bit it!
And then everything went to shit and I realized I was naked
That's right!
Helen of Troy
The most beautiful face in the world, that launched a thousand ships
She mesmerizes with her smile (But oy when she opens her lips!)

You're not Helen of Troy!
I'm Helen of Troy!
You're not Helen of Troy!
I'm Helen of Troy!
I'm Helen of Troy!

I started at the bottom one stone at a time
I never gave up I was born for the climb
I learned my hieroglyphics and became the queen of the Nile, oh yeah!
Me and Mark Antony hand in hand walking like an Egyptian
Thick eyeliner with a sick profile- and what had happened was
I worked my way up to the top of the pyramid
Just like all the boys did
Work my way up! Work my way up!
Work my way way way way way way up to the top of the pyramid!
(So how did that work out with you and Mark Antony?)
He turned out to be a real pain in the asp

[Joan of Arc]
They call me a witch, they call me a liar
Now they wanna set my pussy on fire
I was the baddest bitch, a lady freedom fighter
The voices in my head going off like a choir, choir!
La la la, voices in my head, they go
La la la, voices in my head, head
You gonna burn me at the stake? Then you better bring some barbecue sauce
Wanna touch this catholic saint? Better pray and ask the boss
Saint sinner chicken dinner holy war holy winner
La la la, voices in my head, they go
La la la, voices in my head, head
Oh my god, everyone's talking at once. Shut up!
Marie Antoinette: -courtesy of MatronneGeorgia
If you are looking to start a revolution, I created a social media solution!
Put on your opulent jewels, hair, and dress and say it in 140 characters, or less!
Let them eat cake
Let them eat cake, cake, cake, cake, cake
Let them eat cake

[Catherine the Great]
I had a great many lovers that I took to bed
Tom Dick and Igor, and even Mister Ed
There's more of me to love with these few extra pounds
Everybody knows I like to horse around
Horse around, giddy up and get down
I said giddy up!
Horse around, come and take a ride on my merry-go-round
Horse around, get down, get down, get down, get down
Horse around, all of Russia is my stomping ground
I got a nice big carrot

[Annie Oakley]
(Bang bang!)
I'm Annie Oakley, and this is my band, the sharpshooters
5, 6, (bang bang bang bang bang!)
Been on my own since I was young
Came out my mama with a gun
I'm a better shot than anyone- No one could beat me!
But there's a story y'all don't know
My draw was fast and his was slow
It really was his time to go
So I went bang bang! (bang bang!)
Bang bang! (bang bang!)
These double barrels pumped him full of lead! (bang bang bang bang bang!)
I went bang bang! (bang bang!)
Bang bang! (bang bang!)
He's 6 feet under lying in my bed! (bang bang bang bang!)
Well, I guess I'm done. Yippy-eye-ky-gay

[Frida Kahlo]
Por muchos muchos años, I tweezed it every hour
Before I go to bed, I shave it in the shower
I always thought it made, my Frida face look sour
Uni uni uni uni uni unibrow!
But mom said it's okay! to be an unibrow-er
Never be ashamed, cause it's a sign of power!
So now I paint my face, and not a stupid flower
My uni uni uni uni uni unibrow!
Uni uni uni uni uni brow!
Ay dios mio that’s a lot of uni's
Girl, you need to get yo brows waxed
Okay you know what and you need to pluck off
Eva Perón: -courtesy of dragracing930
I'm Eva Perón so honey don't you cry for me
I'm an actress, model, diva! And the first lady
I give the people hope! For a better For a better mañana
I was a Evita after all! I played it better than Madonna
I did it for the right! I did it for the kids! I did it for the sick and poor!
I did it for the fame, I did it for the money, I did it because I wanted more!
I gave the people joy! I gave the people life! I gave the people drama!
And I did it! Oh yes I did it! Better than Madonna!

[Princess Diana]
I'm princess Di, I'm very shy, and the world fell in love with my eyes
To everyone, I was his wife, and we lived out a fairytale life
And then the shit hit the fan, I got divorced from my man
He made me give up my crown
But they can't keep a girl down
Be careful what you wish for, 'cause this English rose has thorns

They say it's a man's world, we disagree
We've been breaking the rules! And it started with me!
We're the baddest bitches in herstory!

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