[Bishop]
Peace be under this house
And peace be under all of you, my brothers and sisters
Peace and harmony and abundace!

[Raffael]
I'm sorry, Bishop, is it?

[Bishop]
Yep

[Raffael]
We were just headed to dinner

[Bishop]
Ok

[Marianne]
No, no, no, wait, wait! I've never met a Bishop
But aren't you supposed to be clad in radiant scarlet?

[Bishop]
Scarlet is higher
I love your slippers, by the way
Very fetching

[Leo]
Yeah, maybe another time, your holiness?

[Bishop]
This won't take a second
Pre-poured martinis! Wonderful!
Please, stay near, my child
This may relate to you
Now, does anybody here have any spiritual needs?
Spiritual needs? Anyone?

[Leo]
No

[Bishop]
Well, do any of you think about the meaning of life?
Meaning of life? Any of you?
Good!
Anybody else? Meaning of life?
God? Death? Anyone for purgatory?
Now those shoes are cute, are they Fendi?

[Raffael]
Bishop, please, how can we help you?
Practically

[Bishop]
Well I could use a job, you could give me a job
I'm a terrible priest
No, I'm in the wrong job
I keep spilling the wine, I keep crumbling the wafers
I have no charisma

In the middle of Mass, all I think is my miter should be tighter
I mean, why a Bishop? Why not an anarchist?
Why not a bartender? I could be anything!
Why a Bishop?
Don't get me wrong, I love the church, and I don't only mean the clothes
I mean the statues and the windows
And the rows of yearning people, and the special parking
And oh, the music! What else to call it but divine?

And then of course, there's God
Don't get me wrong, I love my God
Thought I don't always understand him. Or agree
Like, do we really need the droughts and the floods
And the plagues and the earthquakes
And the universal suffering and-

See? Does that sound like a priest?
Oh, those slippers, really fetching
Now if I were a cook, I'm not bad as a cook, I could work as a cook
In a nice country house

[Marianne]
Darling?

[Bishop]
With a fabulous terrace

[Leo]
We have a cook!

[Bishop]
Where they could use a gardener

[Marianne]
You're a gardener too?

[Bishop]
I could learn

[Leo]
No!

[Bishop]
Wouldn't anybody like to have their windows washed?
[Paul]
No!

[Bishop]
Their sinks repaired?
[Claudia]
No!

[Bishop]
Their faith restored?
[Raffael]
No!

[Bishop]
Their lives renewed?
[Leo]
No!

[Bishop]
Their anything anything?

[Claudia, Paul, Raffael, and Leo]
No!

[Bishop]
All I want is a job, where I'd be of some use
Where I'd know who I was
Where I'd make people feel that they matter!
Although none of us does
In the big picture, I mean
Something different at least
God knows I'm a terrible priest
And if anyone should know
God knows, it's God!