It was at that very bar I had my worst trip -
It was only last Saturday, I'd come to the Grip
With Keegan and Troy and a few other skegs
When this weird dude comes up to me and he says:
"I got some leaf the other day up at Byron
And a couple of cones - you wanna try 'em?"
Now, I know I was pissed and the light's pretty bad
But I looked at this dude - and it was my dad!
I was speechless - I stayed rigid with fright.
He said: "Do you know Evan censored fucked Kylie censored Friday night?"
His hair was in dreds; his T-shirt said Slaam -
I couldn't believe this was the old man.
I see him every day hanging around with bankers.
"TISM play here next Saturday", he said. "They're wankers."
"But Dad...", I stammered, "you're...you're...I mean, you're not..."
Just then my Uncle Leroy came up. "Woa", he said. "Awesome pot."
I looked 'round this club - my sight, it was hazy -
But there was Aunt Ethol, and Uncle Fred, and wife Daisy!
My eyes finally focused on this host of drug takers:
My whole family was here - and they'd turned into skaters.
"Gotta lash, dude", said Dad, "can't afford to linger
I gotta get your mum home for a bit of stinkfinger."
I fainted right there in a swoon on the floor;
Keegan and Troy took me out by that very door.
It was like watching a movie from end to beginin';
It was like forcing Michael censored to fuck older women;
It was all in reverse, all a horrid contrast -
It was like seeing Jennifer censored put the Coke bottle up Johnny censored's arse.
I woke up next morning - all was normal again.
"Listen son", said Dad, "I want you home by ten.
You were raving last night; your friends are all thugs;
You were so out of it I think you're on drugs."
I grabbed his hand, said, "Dad - thank god it's you!
And you're telling me off! Oh Dad, I love you!!"
"Smartarse", he muttered, and went off to work
The same boring, normal, conventional jerk.
So skaters and skegheads and surfers - be warned -
Thank god for parents and teachers and policeman uniformed:
Remember as you slag them off and you cuss;
When you are forced to do homework, and at the next drug bust -
I have had a vision of a world even more suss.
Remember - it would be worse if they acted like us.