Trying To Impress The Bargirl

I'm trying to impress the bargirl by seeing how drunk I can get.
I can't believe that no one's thought of this before.
This is a fool-proof plan.
I'm sure I'm the man of her dreams.
The drunker I get,
the more impressed she seems.
(It's the perfect plan!)

I'm trying to impress the bargirl by seeing how drunk I can get.
My friends who left, I guess they didn't want to cramp my style.
She keeps a professional distance,
but I know what she truly thinks.
If she didn't want me,
why would she keep bringing drinks?
(It's the perfect plan!)

(It's the perfect plan!)
So I asked her when does she get off and she answers where do I get off
(It's the perfect plan!)
And I said that's funny.
(It's the perfect plan!)
The bouncers watch me intently, I suppose they're just jealous of me
(It's the perfect plan!)
Because I'm so funny.

She's going a little bit blurry,
Something is coming towards me.
I think I'm about to be kissed...

No that's just a fist.