The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Slasher

Twenty-two stab wounds
Heart ripped from her chest
Mabel
Exsanguinated

Entering the house of death where widows take their final breaths
Ninety years will end in pain, blood drained in pure disdain
Through the portal of her home, Nosferatu's child doth roam Matriarch is unaware that death is here

Twenty-two stab wounds
Heart ripped from her chest
Blade piercing her flesh
Stabs bringing her death
Steel carving through bone
Screams turn into moans
Knife plunging so deep
Death coming to reap
Chest ripped opened wide
Heart plucked from inside

Cardiac extraction from her cage
Saucepan altar, vampiric rage
November night, the widow falls
Immortality within these walls
Swift and surgical, the blade finds its mark
Twenty-two incisions pierce the dark
Ripping through the thorax, cardiac prize
Watching the life leave her eyes

Blood draining from her legs
Crimson fills up the dregs
Lips pressed against the pan
Drinking as deep as he can
Candles light the scene
Most grotesque ever seen
TV glowing on
As Mabel's life is gone

Forensic evidence seals his doom
Shoeprints map his path through the room
DNA condemns this delusional fool
Shoeprints tracked through coagulating pools

Cardiac extraction from her cage
Saucepan altar, vampiric rage
November night, the widow falls
Immortality within these walls
Swift and surgical, the blade finds its mark
Twenty-two incisions pierce the dark
Ripping through the thorax, cardiac prize
Watching the life leave her eyes

You sought forever but delivered only death
No immortality, just rotting flesh
No transformation, no eternal reign
Just one life murdered, a lifetime of pain
Welcome to the house of death where a widow took her final breath
Ninety years ended in pain, blood drained in pure disdain
Through the portal of her home
Nosferatu's child once roamed Matriarch was unaware that death was here
Twenty-two stab wounds

And if we want to be a little bit more ambitious, let's go faster: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.