I thought of killing myself again
Fantasy came like lightning
A bolt to the head
Waves of sickness washed over me and I felt disgust that I entertained it
Swept up in this daydream
I watched the reel of my flickering end
I felt the heavy tightness of my spirit
The sweet relief of my final breathe
I hated myself in that moment
That subtle sway between self-pity and indulgence
I stubbled backwards as I glimpsed my self portrait
I abhorred it

Have I been living out purpose or simply playing a part?
Written by a teenage mind
High on drugs, religion, and art
The work gave me the world and blistered hands
It opened my eyes to glimpse wonders they never had
The years pressed onward and I began to change
I dragged my pain and deficiencies with me, along in my wake
Some days, I wish it would stop, all the pouring rain
Or maybe, I could just disappear
Someone could take my place
I wish someone could take my place
Why is that pull so heavy?
Why is that call so deep?
The seductions of the void
Siren songs of eternal sleep
And if death wants us so badly, the void desiring us, desperately
Does it follow that life is worth living?
Does it tremble at the thought of us staying?
I just want to stop all the pouring rain, someone could take my place
Someone take my place
Please take, please take
Won't someone take my place?

Words of jane goodall: I wanted to make sure you all understand that each and every
One of you has a role to play
You may not know it, you may not find it, but your life
Matters and you are here for a reason
I want you to know that whether or not you find
That role that you are supposed to play, your life does matter, and that every single day
You live, you make a difference in the world
And even today, when the planet is
Dark, there still is hope
Don't lose hope

No one can take your place
I'm begging you to stay
Please stay, please stay
Everything can change, all dances in synchronous motioni
Pray that you stay because life is worthy of our loving devotion
Remain another day because if you view darkness as shade
Then only light fills the frame
I want to die with a heart that's full
Not meet my end broken by cowardice
I'll control what I can and let the rest go
I'll leave this world better because of my presence
Maybe someday I'll learn to forgive the things I hate most about myself
And when I see them in someone else, I won't let that mirror affect me so deeply

I won't let it shock me into passivity
Maybe when I see the beggar on the street, with his open hand
I'll be able to look inward, and see the poverty that I have
Maybe I'll be more gracious to him, more gracious to me
What a fool I'd be, in an attempt to escape
To forfeit such beauty, remove myself from this play
There is only one of me
I, alone, exist in this space
The living cosmos witnessing itself through my being

And now, fully awake, I'll be content to stay
For what could await us in sleep if we aren't able to cherish the dream
I'll learn to cherish the dream
I'll cherish the dream
I'll live and I'll be
Don't give up